I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
