I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
foreskin is a definite game changer
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
