Acid is not a monday night drug
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
