That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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