Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
