i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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