Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
