Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Ladies don't puke and tell
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
