my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
