oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
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