Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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