The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
