Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
