he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
try to milk me bitch
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