I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
