my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
