my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
