5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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