this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
