I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
