no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
