I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
