i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
