...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
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