so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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