went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
