Michael Bay diarrhea
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
