he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
