This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize