$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
