: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
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