is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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