even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
