New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
