There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
