What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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