Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
