We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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