Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
