What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
