So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Randomize