She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
