Your face is a jimmy john
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
