Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
