I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
