I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize