You're completely useless in the revolution.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize