then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
