That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
There are leaves in my underwear?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
