i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
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