thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
