Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Randomize
