Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
