Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
