if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
