Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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