I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Randomize
