sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
