Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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