we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
