Three words: puerto rican gang bang
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
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