Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Randomize
