and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Randomize
