Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
