if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
