K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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