apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
