So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize